The Causes and Effects of Divorce
Divorce is not a rare event anymore. Unfortunately, it is no longer surprising. Divorce is an undesirable result of broken vows, constant conflicts and general dissatisfaction by one’s spouse. When two people split up, it affects not only their personal lives but also influences the society in general. Divorce breaks the stability of a family, which results in lowering moral standards and the sense of responsibility of the whole social group. Each couple has its own reason for such decision. However, the lack of foundation in the formation of marriage and the inability to resolve conflicts are two main causes of divorce in America.
Certainly, there are many reasons for couples to cancel their “forever and ever”. Sometimes, two people, who decided to spend their lives together, just cannot communicate in their mutual life. They do not hear each other and therefore, do not try to avoid the misunderstanding or fix the damage of a carelessly dropped word. They think that after they have said their “I Do”, the “I-don’ts” would be magically fixed. But marriage is always a work for both. If two people have communication problems and are not able to fulfill the expectations of each other, the solemn vows get broken. As Cathy Meyer affirms, the marriage vow is just an oral agreement. And no one can protect it from being broken. Sometimes, if mutual life is not successfully working for two people, it is useful to do a so-called homework. Naturally, the spouses have different habits; and some of them can seem undesirable or even unpleasant to the other. The adventurer can marry the homebody, and a money spender can make a couple to a saver. In this case, all that the marriage needs is a compromise. It is always easier than to stand up for the principles and end up a divorced person. Another important thing that people have to understand is that marriage is a two-way street. Lisa Payne accentuates that there are no ideal relationships without misunderstandings and disagreements. People just have to accept the main rule of respecting and hearing each other. Marriage education is a discipline that can save a family.
Saying “I Do” means a person takes responsibility for another person’s happiness and satisfaction, and for their mutual well-being, physical and mental comfort. However, when the routine comes on stage, responsibilities may differ. Nevertheless, each of the couple is supposed to accomplish their part of the agreement. Unfortunately, it is a common situation when both husband and wife expect more from each other, but on the other hand, tend to do even less than was agreed. High expectations and shifting the responsibility often lead to the divorce. Another crucial thing in marriage is infantilism and the refusal to make decisions. When a husband calls his parents when a little question comes out or, moreover, resolves his financial troubles with their help, he definitely loses the respect of his wife. It is when one can hear first divorce bells.
While there are so many causes for such an unfortunate thing as divorce, there are also negative effects of this issue. One of the most obvious effects is a child’s mind and destiny which are by all means affected by the divorce. In his research, Paul Amato demonstrates that “children with divorced parents, compared with children with two continuously married parents, score lower (on average) on a variety of measures of achievement, adjustment, and well-being” (370). Children may become violent because they have seen how mad and rude their parents have been to each other. Some of them tend to isolate themselves and close up. It happens because children often think that they are the reason of their parents’ divorce. In the breakup situation, a child is the most damageable side, because by destroying the family parents destroy a kid’s world.
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Everything has two sides, reasons, and consequences. Divorce can have multiple causes, but ruining the family and someone’s destiny will always be the effect that is extremely hard to justify. There is no referee, but someone always gets hurt.